One of the aspects of sexual violence that people who have been on the receiving end of it understand with great clarity is the ongoing impact it can have on a person’s attitude about themselves and the society they live in. The legal system tends to process incidents on a case by case basis, with an external focus, and treat each case as a ‘one off’: an event which takes place at a certain time and a specific place, and has a starting point and an ending point. The actual lived reality for the victim of violence is much less neat and organized.
Inside the heart, mind and belief systems of the victim, the harm they have experienced in these incidents is often multi-layered: the assault or violation itself, and the way it and the disrespect they experienced was handled or mishandled or ignored or mocked or diminished by those witnessing it, or who are in charge of receiving and handling the complaints.
The ongoing effects of trauma are confirmed by clinical psychologists and counsellors, but are often experienced privately, and silently, by the victims themselves, whose path to healing and regaining of personal equilibrium can be a long one.
Perhaps one of the most stressful long lasting effects of traumatic incidents is the apprehensive attitude victims develop as a result of their experiences of harm: they were hurt, and that fear, shame and humiliation is not something they ever want to experience again. Their anxiety about this is often seen as compulsive, or obsessive, and because it is formed in response to the trauma, may not be easy for others to understand or assist them with.
People respond, process and deal with the trauma in different ways: some become fearful, over cautious, afraid to leave home, or catch public transport or go near the place where the assault occurred. Some people deal with it matter of factly, and are able to mentally bury it or file it and say: ‘It happened, it’s over, that’s it. I’m going to move on.’
But whatever method of processing they use, many survivors of violence find that their view of the world, and specifically their own safety in the world, has changed for the worse. They find it hard to trust the good intentions of people, and often find themselves fearing the worst in ordinary daily situations, or becoming overly suspicious and over cautious in their dealings with others. A lot of the spontaneity and openness and sense of adventure that brings happiness to their lives is damaged.
Violent experiences affect people long after the events themselves end. And the trauma shapes their attitudes. Expert counselling is not always easily accessible or affordable. And the skills required to heal and restore yourself to equilibrium after a violent incident are possible to learn, but take some time to take effect.
By encouraging victims of sexual violence to tell their stories in their own words, we hope to provide a space in which this processing can take place, in a public but safe sphere.
The fact that violence occurs is a social reality and a sad one; but the unprocessed psychological response to it is tragic, if it results in the victim’s joy in life, safety and happiness and freedom to connect with others being damaged in an ongoing way.
To process the trauma, it must be seen as significant, and not normalized or trivialized. But the personal impact of it must also be handled with skill, self awareness, courage and determination.
The ability to progress in your life after the shocking experience of violence can be measured by the attitude you have towards what happens next. Are you hopeful or fearful? Can you overcome your residual anxiety to experience new opportunities and challenges?
The violent incident/s should not have happened. And the person who experiences violence should not have to suffer the ongoing effects for the rest of their lives. Fortunately, today many people realize that they have control and choice over how they deal with what they have experienced. And they can learn skills to continually improve the quality of their lives after the experience, and increase the happiness they experience in their life after it.
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